Do you ever feel like your life is not enfolding the way you thought it would? That where you are is not where you want to be? And there is nothing you can do about it? You’re stuck and it sucks.
Four months ago I had knee replacement surgery. My expectation was that all would be back to normal in just a couple of months, maybe three. I didn’t expect the 24/7 pain I had for two months nor the rate at which my knee was healing. I had a couple of surgeries I could compare to — a broken hip last year and a broken ankle ten years earlier. I was frustrated with the speed of my recovery. My healing seemed to take forever. I felt stuck.
Other people I talked with who had had the same surgery as mine seemed to be doing so much better. I didn’t understand why I was still suffering. I was going to physical therapy twice a week. I was doing my exercises at home. To me It felt like it would take forever to be back to normal.
Then one day, I thought, “I’m doing all I can physically to heal, what am I doing mentally to heal? And then I realized that I was stuck on what I did not have, instead of what I did have.
My physical body was doing its bit, healing at its own pace. I needed to mentally accept that. I needed to see that my mimd was stuck in misery instead of gratitude.
What to do When You are Stuck
1. Trust the Process. For me, that meant trusting my body. Trusting that it is healing as best as it can and that I’m doing all I can to assist in the healing. Trusting the process means to accept what is unfolding as it unfolds. Trust the path you are on; embrace the steps you are taking.
2. Live In the Now. Be present in the moment. We often look at where we want to be and forget where we are. I was wishing for a future I didn’t have and resentful of the present. In order to move forward, to get unstuck, we have to see where we are in the moment. If you don’t know where you are, how can you decide where you want to go? It is what it is. Accept your present reality.
3. Have Patience. Our lives are often a blur of activity. We run around doing things. We feel driven to accomplish something, anything in order to feel worthy. We forget to just be. To do more being. Sit with yourself. Be aware of the rhythm of your body, your life. Allow for inactivity and allow yourself to be still. No need to rush. Allow your life to unfold more quietly and easily. To have patience is to trust in stillness to move you forward.
4. Breathe and Relax.Take a breath in for four counts and breathe out for four counts. When we are stuck, we have a tendency to take shallow breaths or to hold our breath. We tense our body as feelings of hopelessness or disappointment or anger are manifested in our body. By purposefully focusing on our breath we allow our body to release these feelings that hold our body captive. We can focus on relaxing our muscles and letting go of the tension we are holding inside.
5. Release Negative Beliefs. When we are stuck we ruminate on thoughts and beliefs that hold us back. “This is hopeless,” “ Nothing I do matters,” “I’m not getting anywhere.” “I’m not lovable.” We repeat these or other thoughts that are not helpful, and soon we believe them as our only reality. Our thoughts determine our actions. Release these negative beliefs that hinder your journey in life.
6. Change Your Life’s Story. What you tell yourself about the events in your life, the story you create, can help or hinder you. By believing in your power to create your own story, you can shape your present and your future. Create a positive story. Move away from judgment of the present and move into feeling grateful for your ability to shape your life. For me, I realized that everyday I was better than the day before. I focused on my progress and was grateful for my healing. By changing your life’s story, by creating a positive story, you change your life and move on from the stuckness you’ve created.
We’ve all experienced some kind of stuckness, but now you know it doesn’t have to be a permanent destination.
You have the power to change your life and have more peaceful and joyful experiences in living.
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“If you get stuck, draw with a different pen. Change your tools; it may free your thinking.’
Paul Arden