Let it go.
A phrase often heard. Meant to free us from the psychological ties keeping us bound and unable to move on.
Let it go.
A command to release the “stuckness” we’ve created for ourselves.
Let it go.
When I first heard the phrase, I had no idea how I could do that. What did it mean to “let it go?” Did it mean that I should not care, that I should release all feelings I had about the situation? I’m a passionate person. How could I do that? I care, deeply. Let it go meant stripping myself of a part of my identity leaving me without feelings, leaving me bland. There was no way I was going to just “let it go.” Anyway, I didn’t know how to do it. It wasn’t me.
Yet, holding on to my strong feelings, to investing in the outcome of the situation, felt constricting, tiring. What to do? If I release my hold on being invested in the outcome, does it mean I’m thoughtless, uncaring? Can I really let go, be free, and still be caring and passionate? Can I?
If I let go of my passion, I let go of a large part of myself. But investing in the outcome of situations also meant controlling. And controlling takes its toll. It’s exhausting.
Passion, caring, investment, control, what to do?
I slowly started dipping my mind into the waters of releasing control and, surprise, my world did not collapse. I was still me. So, I took another baby step into the release of control of the outcome. Still here, but more relaxed, more calm. Still caring. Step by step I moved down the path of release of control of outcome. I saw that letting go was not about giving up caring. It’s about acceptance of what is. It’s about releasing the past and trusting the future.
I learned that passion and acceptance are not mutually exclusive. I can have passion without taking control of what is. Acceptance can free us from the pain of holding on to what’s not there. Acceptance allows us go with the flow of the moment, steer our own path, and trust in the outcome.
For me, “let it go” became “let it be.”
How to let it go and let it be.
Notice what you are holding on to. What is it in that really that matters to you?
Examine the roots of your investment. Why is this important to you?
Look at possible alternatives to the situation. What would happen if you were not in the picture?
Identify the level of trust present with yourself, with others. What can you do to increase the trust?
Release the control of the outcome. Embrace the trust you can build.
Accept what shows up in the moment. Allow yourself to be present as an ally.
“Accept what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be.”
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“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than hanging on.” Eckhart Tolle
“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.” Carl Jung