We all have negative voices in our head. For some of us they are subtle and passive, and may even deceive us into thinking they are there to protect us and keep us safe. For others, they are more aggressive and downright mean. Sometimes we are aware of their words and influence. Most other times we are oblivious to their destructive messages, and how they impact our beliefs, sense of self, motivation, and happiness.
One of the best ways to become savvy to the negative inner voices in your head is to practice mindfulness. To be more mindful means to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions in the present moment.
The problem with not being mindful of our thoughts is that we treat our thoughts as if they were facts. We just simply accept whatever comes into our head as truth without giving it a second thought. But a thought is not a fact. A thought is just a thought. And when they are destructive (which they often are), they have very negative ramifications.
You may have the thought “I’m not good at this,” or “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m too old for this,” or even “I’m brilliant!” Does thinking make it so? Once or twice, probably not. But if we think it enough times, our mind will accept it as truth, regardless of whether it is good or bad.
When you start to pay attention to your thoughts through mindfulness with gentle curiosity and no judgment, you can observe your thinking more objectively. You can notice your thoughts, assess them for truth, and accept or reframe them more positively. This is a powerful tool. Imaging catching even a fraction of your negative thoughts, assessing them for truth (which most aren’t), and reframing them in a more positive and truthful way.
Here is one practice you can do to improve your mindfulness.
Pay attention to your breath.
Start by being mindful of your breath. Focus specifically on your breath. Breathe in slowly and deeply, filling your lungs, and then exhale slowly, emptying your lungs. As you continue to breathe, notice any thoughts that come into your head. Pay attention to these thoughts without judgment. Thoughts are just thoughts. It’s whatever shows up in your mind at this particular moment. Allow yourself time to think about your thoughts. Don’t rush, don’t judge, don’t stop. Find curiosity, interest, even humor in your thoughts.
Imagine your thoughts floating by like clouds in the sky, or leaves in a stream. Notice each passing thought and the one that comes after it, and then the one that comes after that. You may notice that just at the moment you become aware of a thought, it passes and is replaced by another thought. That’s what happens — thoughts come and then they go.
To end this practice, bring yourself back to the awareness of your breath.
The value of this practice is to realize how little attention we pay to our thoughts, yet how extremely powerful they are. Learning to notice our thoughts can lead us to quiet the monkey chatter in our head and transform our thoughts to serve us for the better.