Fear is an emotion we have been taught to see as a weakness to overcome. We are told that to be strong is to have no fear. We are told that we need to conquer fear if we are to live fully. We have learned to see fear as an obstacle that keeps us stuck from moving forward and becoming our truest and best self.
But what if we looked at fear differently? What if we looked at what our fear means, what it can tell us about ourselves?
We know what it’s like to be afraid. We have all experienced fear at one time or another. When I was 9 years old, I came to the states from Puerto Rico. I spoke some English but it was very limited. I remember having to get in front of my 4th grade class and read my review of a film the class had just seen. I was terrified! I cried, I felt so helpless.
My fear of public speaking was real. I felt it with my whole being. At that time, my child self was not looking for lessons learned or how to work through my fear.
Now, I am a professional public speaker. I have spoken in front of thousands all over the world. What changed?
I look at fear differently.
1. Fear is storytelling
Fear is the story you spin about who you are. It is what you tell yourself about what you can or cannot do. “I can’t speak English.” “Nobody will listen to me.” “I’m not any good at this.” And the story you tell yourself is based on the beliefs you have to keep you safe from the scary world outside yourself.
Change your story. Change your beliefs about yourself. See yourself being the person who can deal with whatever shows up. Face your fear with a different story.
2. Fear is your imagination in overdrive
We humans are very imaginative. We are creative story tellers. So when we encounter a situation outside of what we are used to, we project into the future, “What will happen next?” When we feel fearful, we have a tendency to imagine the future as unfriendly. We spin a story of all the possible mishaps and catastrophes that will befall us. Our imagination goes into overdrive.
Use your imagination productively. Imagination is a great tool you can use to create a possible positive and happy future. Your imagination is endless. Use it wisely.
3. Fear is a call to action
We feel fear in our bodies. Our heart rate increases, we get sweaty, our breathing is shallow, and our limbs seem incapable of moving. As a result, the action we often take when faced with a fearful situation is to freeze. We get stuck in the moment spinning our story to horrific endings.
Take productive action. Your fear shows you what you have yet to learn. Take the action necessary that will move you through your fear. Aristotle said we develop courage by performing courageous acts. Practice acts of bravery.
When we look at fear differently, we can learn a lot about ourselves that will help us move through life with more joy. Our fears are an amazing gift of the imagination that can give us a bit of insight into who we are. See fear for what it is and learn from it.
Always do what you are afraid to do — Ralph Waldo Emerson